Impatience. A blessing or a curse?

I am a lot of things, one being impatient. It comes out in different parts of my life, some more than others, a big one specifically is driving. Oof, I’m am a force to be reckoned with on the road. I am a safe driver, but I have no patience with the car ahead of me driving 5 MPH under the speed limit. I promise you, I will pass you. And yes, most likely piss you off a little along the way. Sorry in advance.

The funny part of that is that my father has no patience as well, and drives just like I do. Ha, more like I picked up his impatient driving habits and now it is my norm. Thanks Dad. When I was 16, just learning to drive, my Dad would take me out on this long road that connected multiple towns. It’s as called route 64. It was the optimal place to learn because it was never crowded and there were few lights so the new driver can focus on driving. This is a long road that winds through the middle of nowhere, therefore the speed limit is higher than a typical side road through a residential area. I believe 50mph is the speed limit which was a little different than the 35mph that I was used to.

So my dad, who drives fast mixed with impatience, would tell me I need to drive faster. He was eyeballing the speedometer showing a whopping 40mph, I wasn’t even doing the speed limit. So after a few more requests to go faster I finally got up to 50mph and became comfortable with how the car felt. To a new driver 10mph faster feels a lot different, its nerve wracking because it feels like you don’t have control of the car. After a few mins pass at 50 mph my dad tells me to try 5mph faster. After minutes of him telling me to try it I finally pushed the pedal down a little more and I was going 55mph. I hated every second of it and then after about a mile I slowed down and went back to my comfort zone of a slower speed. My anxiety was through the roof and I just wanted the car ride to end. Although I cant lie, a small part of me was thrilled and actually enjoyed the rush that came out of the increase in speed. This is when the fast driver speed was planted.

Now that I look back on it, I guess it makes why I am the driver I am today. I’m a safe driver, I’m a condiment driver, I like to drive fast, but I’m just not a patient driver.

As I said earlier, it’s only certain parts of my life that impatience surfaces. The career I chose, patience is a necessity. For some patience is imbedded in them. They are born patient and don’t have to learn it. I had to learn patience and often times have to remind my self to “chill out, take a breath and just wait”. For example when I call to give report or call a doctor and I am put on hold, my gut reaction would be to hang up and call back in a few mins when they are available. I’ve learned that this is not the best action, I need to be patient and to help myself, I find something to do so I feel productive while I am waiting.

It’s important to know that everyone has flaws. Not everyone is good at everything. Instead of doing nothing about it, find a way to work around it. I beat my impatience by being productive while I wait, multi-tasking. It’s still a flaw of mine, but I have found a way around it hindering my day-to-day life.

I have also found that my impatience has helped me in other areas of my life. I don’t like to waste time, so I tend to get things done in a timely manner. Also when I have a goal set for myself, I will do absolutely everything in my power to reach it as soon as possible. This is often times a good and bad thing. I often fall into the trap of ‘go, go, go’ and not take the time to be in the moment. I have been working on this for years an I’m just starting now to get better at it. In fact this blog is an example of that. I told myself a while ago that I am not going to start a blog until I have all my shit together. Then people will want to listen to me and believe what I have to say. Well, clearly I got over that. I have no idea where I am going to be in the next couple years, different job? Maybe. Living in a different town? Maybe. Who knows. What I do know is that I am proud of where I am today. I’ve learned so much about myself, and what I want out of life. I’m finally able to say that its okay I’m not perfect. It’s okay I have flaws, impatience being one of the many. I have turned my impatience into something good and learned a way to prevent the negative impact it could have on my life.

What are one of your flaws and what have you learned on how to overcome it?

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